The Etio Series - Singles

The Etio Series is a series of singles named after the word 'etiolate'. Etiolation is when a plant whitens due to a lack of sunlight. The singles operate as two stories, 'I Miss Her' followed by 'Even When It Rains' and 'Forgive me' by 'Come Back Home'. Both stories begin with a lacking, a lacking of a person 'her', and a lacking of forgiveness. They end with something more positive, comfort in 'Even When It Rains' and reconciliation in 'Come Back Home'.

'I Miss Her' is, of course, a song about longing for someone, for 'her'. When I wrote this piece I wasn't thinking about a single person, but rather an idea of one, 'her' acted as a name to a person who didn't exist, an expression of longing towards someone I didn't know yet. The song was inspired by 'Here Where I Can Breathe' by Benjamin Gustafsson and 'Maybe They'll Sing To Us Tomorrow' by Hammock, utilising soft synth pads and the sounds of birds and rain to create a sense of peace. The longing isn't desperate in the sense that it was all consuming, or throttling, it's desperate in its longevity, in its constancy. It provides a strange sort of peace, it's a longing which feels so intertwined with me that it is, in a way, a comfort. Because of this the chord progression is short and repeating, with two major chords (C and D) sandwiching the minor (E) to create something which isn’t sad but still has something missing from the happiness. The descending nature of the progression (with a C first inversion) creates a sense of melancholy, with the repetition of the root and third for the first two chords not only creating a sense of loss (the major losing its joy) but also of consistency. The melody that plays follows the descending nature but has moments of ascension between each chord, this is to create a sense of trying, trying to be happy, to move on, but ultimately not being able to. The melody is played by a harsh ‘Tank’ piano to show that although there is some comfort, it’s still painful. In the end the melody ends, giving in to the descending nature, the feeling of longing.

'Even When It Rains' is an addition to the feeling behind 'I Miss Her'; even when it rains I will still feel this way. In a way it's comforting to know that the feeling is constant, that this feeling of longing (or in other words, unexpressed love) doesn't go away just because circumstances change. I will always miss her until I meet her. This song is not only expressing the comfort of this but also understanding that this painful feeling is good, that it means I have so much love in me that I long for someone to love. It’s realising that one day I will meet ‘her’, and finding peace in that.

To me, one of the most comforting things is rain and the sound of water, so the song is based in a light storm, with a growing synth which sounds like the drawing of waves and a ‘whale song’ synth. The repeating motif played by the music box is an Fsus4 chord which reminds of the pain of longing (through its dissonance) while still providing some comfort in its major nature and its repetition. The repetition of the chord progression also does this, starting with the Fsus4 but then moving to an F, G minor and then an F first inversion. The minor and sus chord retain the painful nature of the feeling, but the ascending progression tells of the new, more positive perspective on it. The melody, like with ‘I Miss Her’, tells of trying, trying to see the positive side, trying to ascend. Although not ever achieving true ascension, the melody is carried in the end by a French horn, showing that although the work isn’t accomplished, there is honour in trying and triumph in changing at least a little bit.

'Forgive Me', is self-explanatory, born from a longing for reconciliation. The storm in the song doesn’t provide comfort but, with a sound like static, is like interference which stops you thinking. A short, minor, descending chord progression (G# minor and Eb minor) tells of disappointment and sadness, its repetition like a constant reminder of failure. The guitar line reiterates this, the constant, descending motif like a memory stuck on repeat. The synths are composed mostly of sounds reminiscent of humans and breathing, showing the painful humanity of failure, and the vulnerableness in asking for forgiveness. The melody starts vulnerably, with one lone note, repeated, which descends and then rises, like the fall and rising of saying sorry with humility and then hope of forgiveness. The melody ends with a descending line because the question is unanswered, we have not yet received forgiveness.

'Come Back Home' is the comforting answer, the peace that comes from forgiveness and the happiness that comes from being able to reconnect with the relationship. The song starts with the sound of a train to be the sound of coming home, coming back to a relationship once lost. The chord progression starts with A major which repeats twice, like we’re being lifted up to the D chord. We then descend to Bb minor, but this isn’t a descent of sadness but of comfort, descending back into the A chord. We are then lifted higher to a D first inversion and then back to the A, resolving with a strong D. This is to show the joy and comfort of an apology accepted. The melody follows this pattern, descending to restart the loop until the last time, where we are fully reconciled.